So Easy
by WanderingPirate
Summary: Ianto ponders over Jack, Lisa and love.
1. Ianto's POV

(A/N: Long time reader, first time writer. This is just a little one shot. My first Torchwood fanfic, so I decided to start off easy.)

Disclaimer: I don't have John Barrowman locked in a closet somewhere…or Gareth David-Lloyd…sadly. And since I have never written a single episode of Torchwood, I suppose I have to admit that I don't own anything.

**So Easy**

It wasn't the sex. Really, it wasn't…OK, that might be part of it. But there was more. Oh, so much more. Maybe it was his smile. Or the mystery of the man. There was always more to discover about him, always another secret waiting to be revealed that was just out of sight. Or maybe it was the way he looked in the sunlight or the moonlight or really in anything (or nothing at all). Maybe he was just so unlike anyone Ianto had ever met before that even the idea of Jack held Ianto in a startling state of fascination. It could have been any one of these things, but he knew none of them were it.

Ianto knew exactly what it was. It was that Jack, for some unknowable explanation, made him happy. It was that plain and simple. He loved Jack's little remarks, sometimes blatant sometimes not, about what exactly they did after everyone else had gone home. It made Ianto feel as if he shared something with Jack that the others didn't, something special. Which he supposed that he did. Ianto even loved making him coffee. There was something about that look on Jack's face when Ianto had made the coffee just right. Of course, Ianto _always_ made his coffee perfect, but that look, as if Jack never wanted to drink any other coffee than Ianto's ever again, sent a little thrill through his heart.

He would never tell Jack that he loved him, even though at this point, Ianto knew it was true. He had been in denial for a while, but it had become incredibly painfully true. It had become so true that he knew he could never say anything to anyone about it. It was such a twisted conclusion he had come to, but it made sense in his head somehow. He loved Jack, but he had nothing to offer him. Ianto was going to die someday, even if he managed to avoid all the hazards that went with working for Torchwood and all the health issues in the entire world, he would still die of old age. That day seemed far away to Ianto, but Jack had already lived through centuries, many different centuries. Jack had seen people come and go and the only thing that stayed was him, because he was immortal. Ianto could tell from the look on Jack's face every once and a while that he didn't want more than what they had. Jack cared for Ianto, of course, cared for him deeply. But over the long years, Jack had cut himself off from that final step of actually loving someone and pledging to be with them forever. Because Jack's forever was a whole lot longer than anyone else's.

Ianto understood this, and he had led himself to a gradual acceptance of it. If he had fallen in love with anyone else, any normal mortal human, he would have pushed for something more between them. But because Jack was so different, a fact Ianto loved and hated and was obsessed with, he didn't. He loved him so much he would push his feelings down farther and farther. Maybe it was emotionally damaging to do that, but it didn't feel right to love Jack in the first place. It didn't feel right to love anyone, or even enjoy anything, since Lisa. Oh, his poor, poor Lisa.

That was another thing making his relationship with Jack so complicated. He had thought when he fell for Lisa that he would never, ever be able to love anyone but her again for the rest of his life. And when she had died, he thought that he would be permanently broken. He had thought he would spend the rest of his days in a blur of grief and tears. And perhaps he still would. To this day, there was still something empty in his heart and his soul since she had gone, and even Jack couldn't fill it. Though Jack had fixed him a lot, more than he ever thought possible, Ianto would never be complete without Lisa.

And so there was his situation with Jack, that astonishing immortal man, and the second love of his life. Only there was not room for a second love of your life. The phrase sort of implied that there can only be one. Jack was an unexpected twist in Ianto's amazingly predictable love life. It had been simple before. Ianto was going to marry Lisa, and they would be together forever. There was no room for other people. No need to feel the pain and confusion of falling in love all over again. They would be happy forever.

But everything had gone wrong. So many things, and so fast, too. And now Ianto loved Jack, and even thinking those words made him feel guilty, and he knew that Jack would never be able to return his feelings. And yet as Ianto realized all of this, he suddenly felt a certain amount of enlightenment. This situation wasn't nearly as complicated as he had first believed. He would hide his feelings for Jack until they went away, because there was no future for a couple like them, no matter how many fantasies he had involving a quaint little house in the country. He could enjoy the time they had together, as long as it would last, but nothing more. And suddenly he didn't feel nearly so guilty or so confused. In fact, this may have just turned into the simplest relationship he had ever been in. It was nothing but sex and strong…friendship, for lack of a better word. Who would have thought shagging the boss could be so easy?

"Oi, Ianto!"

Jack's shout reverberated throughout the hub.

"Yeah, Jack?"

"Everyone else went home half an hour ago, where are you?" His tone was very impatient.

"Sorry, didn't realize they'd left, I'll be right up," Ianto shouted back. Had he really been that absorbed in his thinking he hadn't even noticed everyone else leave? "Need anything before I come up?"

"Still got that stopwatch? We haven't used that in a while." Ianto could tell Jack was grinning even though he couldn't see him.

Yes, this whole situation was incredibly easy.


	2. Jack's POV

(A/N: I met for the first chapter to be just a one-shot, but I really liked writing it, so I wrote one for Jack, too. A third and final chapter will be up soon. Enjoy the fic, and please review!)

Jack knew from the moment that he first met Ianto Jones that he liked him. Sure, he had been extremely unwilling at first to hire him as an employee, but he had different reasons for that. Jack hadn't wanted anything to do with anyone who had been involved with Torchwood One. Not to mention he wasn't lying when he said they weren't hiring, there really was no job for Ianto at Torchwood Three. But that didn't stop Jack from noticing Ianto's coy smile and very tight jeans.

And when he finally did decide to invent a job so that Ianto could join the team, he had told himself that it had nothing to do with Ianto's gorgeous Welsh accent and pretty eyes, and everything to do with the pterodactyl.

And it had been so easy to convince himself that.

So easy to pretend that it was all about Ianto's phenomenal organizational skills and excellent coffee. Not because he was infatuated with him. Not because he enjoyed flirting with him. And Jack continued to keep up this charade. He told himself the same thing after the whole incident with Lisa. Jack had forgiven Ianto because Ianto was a good employee who happened to make a terrible mistake. Not because it broke his heart to see the look on Ianto's face when Lisa died.

Jack wondered how he could be having sex with Ianto and be his boss and his friend, and yet still be so emotionally detached. It certainly had nothing to do with lack of real feeling for the younger man. Maybe that was the problem. Jack could safely chase after Gwen, because he knew she would never want him. He could never safely chase after Ianto. He could never allow himself to feel love for him, because that would be game over for Jack. He'd spend the rest of Ianto's days being tortured by the thought of Ianto dying sometime in the future, and then when that day finally came, he knew he would practically go mad.

Jack speculated how he could be so cold and calculated. He was sure that it wasn't normal to force yourself not to love someone. And he was completely certain that if he didn't have the practice that he did keeping his emotions for others at bay, he would have fallen for Ianto a long time ago. Just as Ianto had fallen for him. Of course, Jack knew that Ianto had strong feelings for him, probably loved him but kept silent about it because he understood. That was one of the things that made keeping his emotions from going haywire over Ianto so difficult. Ianto always understood. Sometimes Jack wished he wouldn't be so understanding, because it would be so easy to push Ianto away if Ianto had tried to get Jack to commit, or had started a fight over any of the things Jack had done that usually drive people nuts. It would be so easy to use that as an excuse to call the whole thing off. But Ianto was Ianto. He was too loyal to Jack to not trust him, and too understanding of all his motives to ever question him.

In fact, after thinking very hard, the only time Jack could ever even remember Ianto being mad was after Jack had come back from his trip with the Doctor. And even then there had been no yelling or fighting, Ianto was just cold to him, before he was quickly forgiven.

Yes, that was the problem. Ianto was too perfect. Too wonderful. Too easy to live with. And so very, very mortal.

"I've got your coffee," there were those beautiful Welsh vowels again, handing him a cup of the greatest coffee Jack had ever tasted, and with all the places he'd been, that was saying something.

"Thanks, Ianto," said Jack.

"You seem a little off, something wrong?" asked Ianto.

"Nothing, just a little tired," said Jack, shaking his head.

"We were up a little late last night, weren't we?" Ianto smirked.

"Well, for once it wasn't my fault, you were the one that decided to pull out the UNIT cap," said Jack.

Ianto laughed. "You know you loved it. I still can't believe you got your hands on it. Who would actually give you one of those?"

"I have my sources," Jack said cheekily.

"Martha?" Ianto snickered. "I didn't think she would do something like that."

"I think she did it as a joke, because I'm pretty sure she thought I was kidding when I asked for one," admitted Jack.

"You weren't?" Ianto asked in surprise.

"Kid about you looking good?" Jack sounded appalled. "Never."

It was so easy to continue their banter and flirting as they always had. And while Jack sat there, watching Ianto sip his own coffee, Jack wondered if he were ever to allow himself to love, if he would love Ianto. And the answer came to him as a yes. And it would be so easy.


	3. Everyone Else

(A/N: This chapter is Ianto's and Jack's relationship from other people's points of view. Just a short bit of fun. Thanks to all of my reviewers. Enjoy the final chapter!)

Martha Jones had thought it was adorable. She didn't kid herself to think that they actually might get married or something, she knew Jack better than that- she was fairly certain it was all just sex. But there was something about the whole situation that she thought was so cute. It probably had to do with the way Ianto had blushed when she had told him about Jack's request for a UNIT cap. He'd busied himself with other things to try and hide it, but she noticed it all the same. And that distant look he'd gotten on his face when she'd asked him how it was? That boy was definitley stuck on Jack, even if he was trying to keep it a secret. So her question was, how could a secret romance not be endearing? Though, of course, she assumed with Jack in the picture, a secret romance was never exactly a secret. She wondered briefly how Ianto really felt about their situation. He was obviously very taken with Jack. But she didn't know him well enough yet to discern if he was in love with him or not. All she hoped was that Jack was being…sensitive. Martha knew how it could be when you fell for someone who you knew would never be able to stay with you, and it hurt all the more when you knew they did care for you. Yes, she had been in Ianto's situation once upon a time. The same sad, sad situation. And she knew that if it was true, Ianto would do the same thing she had. Never saying anything about it, continuing on with daily life. Because it was so easy that way. Emotions were never simple, and when dealing with these strange immortal time traveling types, everything got even more complicated.

Owen Harper did not like to think about it. He wasn't homophobic or anything. He had no problem with what other people did in the privacy of their own homes. It was just very uncomfortable to remember that the Hub _was_ Jack's home. And if Gwen was to be believed, neither Jack nor Ianto were very shy about doing…things. Even when other people may or may not be in the building. That was not a comforting thought. Owen was of the opinion that if you were going to do things like that, you should at least have the decency to wait until everyone else has gone home. It was just plain rude. And, he told himself often, he would feel the exact same way even if they were a man and a woman instead of two men. He never thought he'd be the one to say it, but the workplace should be for, well...work. But he also knew, or at least assumed from Jack's constant flirting and the alarming increase in Ianto partaking in that flirting as well, that neither one of them believed that. He would never say anything directly to them, of course. He'd tried rolling his eyes and complaining loudly when ever they started hitting on each other, but it had never brought upon any positive results, so he eventually had just shut his mouth (as Gwen had less than politely suggested he do quite a few times) and given up the hope that they would ever stop. Therefore Owen much rather preferred to pretend that Jack and Ianto did nothing at all, ever. He ignored their flirting, a task that was particularily hard when their were slow days at the Hub. And he continued to live in self inflicted ignorance, pretending that Jack and Ianto were never in a room alone together and if they were, never did anything but work related things. Because it was so much easier to get through the day in this manner than being perpetually paranoid about if and where Jack and Ianto had done…the aforementioned things.

Gwen Cooper wasn't quite sure how she felt about the whole situation. On the one hand, she was usually very against such an unprofessional relationship. It created unnecessary complicated and awkward situations for everyone. And it almost always ended badly, creating friction and tension everywhere. And with Torchwood Three being such a small team, it would be almost immpossible to avoid one another. On the other, it wasn't like she'd never kissed Jack herself. Although, she reminded herself, she had _only_ kissed Jack, nothing more. Though there had been Owen...but, she rationalized to herself again, that really _had_ been just sex. Both Jack and Ianto put on a little show for everyone that there was nothing more than that between them, but she wasn't so sure. She had always liked to think of herself as deeply intuitive, and she had seen how Ianto stared at Jack sometimes. And, much more rarely, she occasionally thought she saw a glimpse of that same look on Jack's face. Every now and again, she just assumed that she had imagined that look on his face. But then she would catch it again, when Jack though no one was looking. She was sure it was there, and she was even more sure that he was pushing those feelings down for some reason. Typical Jack. She was completely disgusted with him sometimes. The man was too macho to show a little feeling once in a while. Maybe it was easier to get along that way. But it was still wrong, she thought. If Jack loved him, he should say so. And she would be very happy for the both of them, she had decided. So she was a quite a bit surprised when she realized that she was just a little jealous of Ianto. Jack had always been a bit of a fantasy for her, and she was envious of someone else getting a taste of her dreams. She had only just gotten a hint of what he was like. His kiss and his smell and his...but she always reasoned it out in her head, shaking herself back into reality. She loved Rhys, and he loved her. And Rhys (unlike some others she could mention) would always be there for her. What more could a girl possibly want?

Toshiko Sato envied Ianto as well, but not for the same reason as Gwen. Tosh just wanted love, in whatever form she could possibly get it. Gwen had Rhys, Ianto had Jack. All she had was a hopeless crush on Owen. And he was so incredibly oblivious. Maybe it was better; relationships at work were always a bad idea, right? Well, that what she had thought until she had found out about Ianto and Jack. If they could manage to have what she was sure was hot raging sex one night, and the next day be completely professional with each other, wasn't it possible for her and Owen? Except...it was different somehow. She wasn't sure how to explain it, but mostly it had to do with the fact that Ianto and Jack had a thing _together_. They both knew the other's feelings for each other, whereas her thing with Owen was rather one sided. With her having been completely in love with him since the first moment she met him and Owen shagging more women than Tosh thought the city of Cardiff could possibly hold, it didn't exactly seem like the ideal relationship, and certainly not a healthy one. Then again, at least she _knew_ when she was in love, unlike Ianto who seemed to be in denial about it and push it down out of the way so he didn't have to think about it. She thought then that perhaps Ianto felt guilty. He seemed like he would be the guilt ridden type. She hoped that at some point he would let himself love again. She had seen a piece of his mind once, and caught the briefest glimpse of his pain. It sounded corny (maybe she was just a sucker for corny romantics) but love heals. Though she thought Ianto could have had a bit more luck when it came to who he had fallen in love with (Jack couldn't be the easiest person to have a relationship with), she truly believed that if Ianto let it, his love for Jack would help him heal the wounds that had been inflicted upon him by the whole incident with Lisa. She wondered if Jack saw it the way everyone else did, Ianto so much in love with him and so much in denial. She supposed it was just much easier not to say anything at all, just like her and Owen.

Captain John Hart was _not_ jealous. At all. Ever. As if. Revolted, maybe. Absolutely disgusted, of course. But jealous? Ha! John had moved on to bigger and better things. If Jack wanted to waste his time with Eye Candy, that was his problem. Stupid Eye Candy. He could make a good cup of coffee, but that was about all there was decent about him. And maybe a nice ass. Hey, John might not _like_ him, but he could admire a cute butt when it walked by. And Jack had obviously been hit over the head or something, because there was really no excuse for his behavior. John sighed as he thought that Jack had...yuck, _reformed himself_. Another amazing con artist lost to that abominable thing called the conscience. He blamed Torchwood. The whole team with all their...ethics and...morals. It was disgusting. And they had all rubbed off on Jack (Eye Candy maybe a bit more literally than the others). Though, all joking aside, John did feel a certain amount of pity for Eye Candy. Jack never stayed with anyone long. It was only a matter of time before he left and broke Eye Candy's heart just like he had broken…er, other people's hearts. Not John's though. Never John's. He didn't miss him. Alright, maybe it was a little sad that they'd never go off adventuring again, but that didn't mean he was still _in love_ with him, right? Of course not. And it was so easy to say that. Much less easy making it true. But still, Jack and his silly Eye Candy aside, there was so much more to see out there. He could find someone to replace Jack, just as Jack had found someone to replace him, even if it would never be quite the same. He wasn't sure if he'd ever meet another man that he'd want to kill and fuck at the same time again (with the added excitement of never knowing which side would win out). Jack was one of a kind, and not just in the obvious sense that he was immortal. Every minute with him was a complete and total thrill, a high that John wouldn't dare admit out loud he had been addicted to at one time in the past. But Jack was going to stay in boring Cardiff. Who cares if there is a rift there if you never go through it to see what's on the other side? Jack could have his little joyrides with Eye Candy, and Cardiff sporadically got an exciting monster or two (ones who had obviously gotten lost in the rift and accidentally ended up on the most boring planet in the universe), but John would be out there, traveling the stars and galaxies until it killed him, because nowhere in all of creation was there a bigger high than that.


End file.
